Return To Sender: 2009

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

For the things that cannot be posted

From now on, on the rare occasions when I receive things that I deem dangerous to my scanner and not worthy of photographing, I will simply describe them. So far, I have received two such items.

1. This one hardly counts, as it was actually just placed on my windshield, and I know who placed it there, and I know they were just being a dick.

Contents: A chewed up Rolo. Sender: Not specified. From: Atlanta, GA. Date: forgotten.

2. This one is more interesting and at least as obnoxious. I appreciate it, however, for the sheer amount of effort that went into it. Also, it was clearly sent at least twice for lack of postage.

Contents: The original envelope with the words, "I hate you this is why I'm sending you this" inscribed in the return address space. The envelope was covered (filled?) with glue, apparently Elmer's. The gluey envelope was then taped several times over with two types of tape. Despite the excessive taping, glue still managed to leak all over my other mail. I cannot imagine how it is legal to send an envelope full of wet glue. In fact, I think this may have been the inspiration:
http://www.usfpd.usf.edu/images/package001.bmp
Sender: Not specified. But I know who sent it. From: Portland, OR Date: Around 8/12/2009.